


lion heart

by sujiverse



Category: THE9 (Band), 青春有你2
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, F/F, alternate universe- yuyan's wrist tattoo doesn't say 'Fucking Perfeck', they just care a lot about each other, they're not romantically involved
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-25
Updated: 2020-06-25
Packaged: 2021-03-04 01:48:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,968
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24905581
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sujiverse/pseuds/sujiverse
Summary: the universe's ways remain a mystery to yu yan, but somehow, wang chengxuan makes sense.
Relationships: Wang Chengxuan/Yu Yan
Comments: 4
Kudos: 49





	lion heart

**Author's Note:**

> and with this fic i officially return to my roots. my roots being writing in lapslock on the notes apps of my phone in my bed as the sun rises because gOrls being soulmates make me cry

word gets around fast among the snh girls, yu yan realises soon enough. 

after picking xinran as one of her picks for center in 'a little bit', she found herself telling the girl herself about it. an act of encouragement, perhaps, since it seemed like xinran always welcomed those. 

and she does, with a look of surprise and a tight hug. 

"if this gets out, they're going to say that i like sweet girls again."

xinran laughs. "yeah, like you didn't use your other vote on chengxuan."

yuyan feels heat pooling at her ears, not because it's true, but because  xinran\-- _song xinran_ , who rarely concerns herself with worldly affairs--has caught on. maybe. it's probably sun rui's fault. she ignores the heat searing in her wrist. "well what i'm telling you now is that i voted for you, alright? you were great. i'm being sincere!"

"i know," xinran chirps. "when are you not sincere to sweet girls like me, miss lion cat?"

xinran turns away and out of the practice room with another short laugh. yu yan shakes off the state of stupor she has left her in. 

it's always the sweet ones. they always catch her by surprise. 

was it that obvious?

she reads the lyrics to 'lion cat' again, and wonders how much had to be read between the lines for xinran to figure it out. "the love creator... we're made by the heavens... don't hide, you're my only choice." 

nothing points to wang chengxuan, so her only conclusion is that sun rui has definitely been running her mouth again somewhere she can't hear or see.

she absentmindedly looks for the second page of lyrics, and it sits right where she had left it, between the pages of her worn lyric book.

the myriad of colours still stun her when she opens up the piece of paper--her own lyrics are often black on white, but each line here is a different shade of yellow and orange, accompanied by a drawing of a lion playing the guitar. the second half she never got to sing involves a switch in the point of view, a stroke of genius on the lyricist's part. the lion tames itself for the cat, and it's the cat now that sings about being brave for the lion. 

she finds out her own song is actually a duet. after all, she's the lion.

"word is getting around. i think xinran knows."

chengxuan rises from where she's comfortably resting after their workout on yu yan's shoulder, and looks yu yan in the eyes. her eyes widen, and then relax again. yu yan feels all of it in short bursts of energy-- recognises them as shock, anxiety, and relief. "you're not mad," chengxuan says. "or worried."

"i'm not. it's probably sun rui's fault, and it's not like i never saw that coming." yu yan searches her eyes, takes note of how brown they look even under the dim gym lights. "should i be? are you?"

chengxuan shrugs, curling her knees into herself. the act makes her look even smaller than she already is. "i'm not too bothered if xinran jiejie knows."

"really?"

"mm, or the rest of them. hiding it from the public is tiring enough." 

"okay," yu yan replies. "i'm having dinner with sun rui and the rest of them later. duan yixuan is ordering food for you?"

chengxuan nods. "i'll stay with her tonight. it's her last day here."

"don't be sad all on your own in the morning. my door is always open for you."

chengxuan hums an okay into a shoulder, and tells her softly to chide sun rui for being big-mouthed. 

apparently, sun rui doesn't take well to groundless accusations. 

and somehow, she's managed to turn the tide and put yu yan in the hot seat instead, looking exceptionally grateful for the opportunity to torment her with questions about chengxuan.

questions she has tried to answer the day the tape around her wrist had fallen off during one too many friendly arm wrestling matches; answers yu yan has given but they still don't really understand.

"it's not romantic. it's not entirely platonic. i can't explain it. it's just special." 

zeng keni finds it helpful to comment, "it's completely weird, right? bizzare. it's like the universe made a mistake. remember how you got your soulmark--"

"not a mistake!" yu yan cuts in. " _special_ , " she has to emphasise. "it's not weird at all!"

xu jiaqi stares into her eyes, checking her candor. "strange. i know you're not lying. but i can't believe you've never wanted to just, lay one on her?" 

"xu jiaqi, that's...  _harrassment_." 

"yeah," keni completely bypasses yu yan's words. "i pounced on yanni-- or really she pounced-- we mutually pounced on each other the moment we knew." they collectively groan. keni thumbs the area right under her collarbone instinctively, like she does whenever she's thinking about dai yanni. "so it's weird to me! not even once? not even a little soulmate on soulmate action?" 

yu yan narrows her eyes at the word choice, then shrugs. 

"not even a little  _muah_ for good luck?" jiaqi asks, and then turns sun rui's head to give her a casual peck on the lips in demonstration. 

yu yan cringes, frowns, and, for good measure, gags before shaking her head. 

"bummer," sun rui remarks sympathetically, kisses jiaqi again clearly only because she knows their displays of affection make yu yan squirm. "i'm sorry you and chengxuan can't have what jiaqi and i have."

yu yan rolls her eyes, grumbles something under her breath about not particularly fancying a relationship so greasy. sun rui nearly swings on her, jiaqi tries to hold her back, keni laughs herself off the chair, and yu yan uses the diversion to steer the conversation into a discussion of where the hell dai meng is. 

she finds chengxuan sleeping with her head on her desk the next morning. 

"damn you, duan yixuan."

chengxuan stirs when yu yan pulls a blanket over her, shakes her head when yu yan asks why she didn't wake her up.

when it becomes obvious that chengxuan has cried all night, she convinces her to sleep a little more in her bed where it's warm, and she obliges. 

"it's okay, i'm used to being alone when i'm sad. i don't like crying in front of people who worry for me." it's faint, but she hears it. chengxuan doesn't give her a chance to blame herself for not waking up. "but it's really nice to have you nearby." 

chengxuan goes back to sleep quickly. she can still feel her sadness through the bond, and while it slowly dulls into the background, yu yan feels the squeeze in her chest amplifying with each thought of chengxuan returning home once the series ends.

the next time chengxuan wakes up, she makes sure to ask her to move into her room. maybe, she rationalises, that if they can't be anything else, she'd rather just be nearby. 

in between tapings, rehearsals, practices, and those pesky emotional interviews (that leave yu yan drained for most of the day, because chengxuan feels so intensely during these things), she barely catches her soulmate alone or awake anymore.

and maybe it's chengxuan influencing her with random surges of nostalgia and sentimentality every now and then, she starts replaying a montage of memories at changlong in her own head everywhere she goes. 

she sees chengxuan in most of them--sees her in the practice room for their shared stages, sees her in the gym where she would pretend to bump into yu yan, sees her in the cafeteria where they shared their first conversations way before the tattoos had appeared, sees her in the hallways frantically clutching her wrist whenever yu yan approached. 

those few days must have been torturous for chengxuan, having to walk around with a wristband knowing that yu yan's wrists were free of any soulmark, much less her name. in an equally cruel joke from the gods, yu yan got her soulmark from watching chengxuan's stage during the revenge mission, and jin zihan had to be the one to tell her that her lifelong search was over the second chengxuan smiled for the camera. 

it's petrifying to look back on. still, she can't help but smile. 

yu yan wakes up particularly energised one day, only to find a sticky note pasted on her forehead. the hot pink ink on lime green isn't the only thing that disorientates her--there's excitement coursing through her body like rush after rush of adrenaline. 

chengxuan might actually kill her one day. 

_ happy birthday!  _

hang on. it's her birthday?

_ happy birthday! i asked the crew if you could sleep in and they said yes. practice is cancelled so don't bother coming!  _

chengxuan might actually kill her  _today_. with the way her heart is beating, she's convinced there must be some kind of surprise planned, or a birthday event somewhere waiting for her. and then she finds the second sticky note on her ceiling.

_ there's no birthday event, i know you don't like those. there's a bunch of paper and art supplies, and i packed your lunch for you. i know it's tiring to be my soulmate so you can enjoy today without me around~ just meet me at the rooftop at 5pm!  _

chengxuan's self-awareness makes her laugh. her jaw drops when she sees what's waiting on her desk for her, and she gets so riled up that she forgets whether what she's feeling is chengxuan's excitement or her own. she loses herself in painting for the first time in months, nearly forgets to eat her lunch if not for the strategically timed alarm clock and yet another sticky note she failed to notice.

_ don't forget to eat. _

her lunch is cherry tomatoes and corn. 

"fuck you zeng keni!" she cheers. "the universe never makes mistakes!"

she dutifully makes her way to the training block at 5pm. she stops briefly to greet the faces that she meet, but eventually makes her way up to the rooftop. 

she's been waiting for her.

"hi," yu yan greets. chengxuan smiles brightly at her.

"how was your day?"

"i think you could tell." she could. 

"happy birthday?" 

yu yan nods. "very happy birthday."

"is this another present?" yu yan asks, looking far into the distance.

chengxuan quietly shakes her head. "no," and then points to herself, "i am."

"right," yu yan laughs, "my bad."

"but since the sun is setting, we might as well..." chengxuan leads her to the bench she had somehow also gotten the crew to procure. and they settle comfortably, and as she always does when they sit like this, she gently guides chengxuan's head to her left shoulder. the sun, during their short exchange, has dipped its toes into the horizon. 

"thank you, for remembering how much i like to paint."

there's a thoughtful pause before chengxuan speaks. yu yan listens carefully. "every time you talk about your old art, i get a warm feeling in my chest. when we're performing together, i feel it too. as if i can feel how much you love it. the canvas is your stage, and the stage is your canvas." 

it's moments like these, that she realises yet again how tenderhearted chengxuan is. how different she is on stage, with her own friends, and with yu yan. she reaches between them to interlock their hands, and gets the same warm feeling in her chest chengxuan talks about. 

chengxuan's finger ghosts over the paint that has somehow snuck onto her forearm, following the splatters until she reaches the tattoo on yu yan's left wrist. she traces the familiar strokes of each word etched into her pale skin in a permanent jet black. 

_wang_ ; a king. _cheng_ , from chéng dān; to bear on her shoulders. _xuan_ , from xùan rǎn; to colour. 

"you have a really beautiful name. even if it can be hard to say sometimes," yu yan laughs softly, recalling how awkwardly the name rolled off their tongues at first. how everyone else called her 'meimei' or just 'xuan', because it was convenient. she never saw the need to do that. "wang chengxuan. i like it."

even if she can't see, yu yan knows chengxuan is smiling. "i never did like this _cheng_. it could have been anything else." another thoughtful pause. yu yan waits. " _cheng_ , like in chéng shí. i would have been a more honest student. or even better, _cheng_ , like in chéng gōng! then i'd have everything my way, success piling up with my every step. but i'm stuck with this one, and my life has just been a series of responsibilities i have to chéng dān, stress i have to chéng shòu." 

yu yan laughs again. "names don't mean everything." yù, to describe; yán, to speak. she doesn't do quite a bit of either of those. 

"you're right," chengxuan says. yu yan's wrist aches where chengxuan idly runs her finger across.  everything about her is gentle.

they welcome the silence, breaths intermingling with the cacophony of birds in the nearby forest. it is far from peaceful, but all they feel is calm. the winds have started to pick up, but all they feel is warm. changlong's sky turns a beautiful pink, and then orange. yu yan laughs at an amusing thought that occurs out of the blue. 

"at least your mum didn't choose chéng, as in orange."

chengxuan hits her on the thigh for that one,but agrees anyway. "happy birthday. i'm glad my name is on your wrist."

"me too," yu yan says. chengxuan smiles, and the sunset is breathtaking.

chengxuan lied, and there is a birthday event waiting for her during dinner. it's not quite the spectacular affair with just twenty of them left, but they make do. xiai hosts with a yoghurt bottle as her makeshift mic, keyin performs a freestyle to honour her old friend, xiaotang brings her the birthday cake, shuxin lights the candles up, keni tearfully appears with a camera in her hand, yu yan blows all 23 years' worth of candles out with only two wishes in her mind, and no one makes a big deal when they see their bare wrists.

the finale comes and goes too quick. 

"i'm okay," chengxuan mouths. yu yan can feel that she isn't, doesn't understand why she insists on lying to the one person she can never lie about her emotions to.

the space between them can fit 200 fans. some are screaming her name; most, yuxin's. chengxuan's already so far away, and she'll only get further in the coming days.

if chengxuan wanted her to, yu yan thinks, she'd make that leap to be by her side in a heartbeat. but she stays put, forces her eyes somewhere else, hugs keran, and tries to mean it when she congratulates her. 

"i'm sorry," keran whispers in her ear. her eyes are knowing. sad. in the distance, yu yan hears a loud, heartfelt congratulations tagged to keran's name. they're in the same boat. 

"i'm sorry too," she says, and properly means it. 

after the final bow, she tries her hardest not to sprint back to the main stage. she carefully thanks her fans, her vision slowly but surely tunnelling to where she knows chengxuan is. keyin's still talking to her, so yu yan loiters just beside her. chengxuan doesn't even need to see where she is, her hand creeping up just to where the tattoo is, to hold her right there. 

the universe's ways remain a mystery to her, but somehow, wang chengxuan makes sense.

"don't cry," she says, trying to dry her tears with tissue she prepared beforehand. chengxuan laughs at the feeble attempt, her tears still flowing. she holds on tightly to her wrist, and makes yu yan look in her eyes. 

she understands immediately.

_ it's okay, i'll be a lion. _

yu yan packs her bag in silence, slowing down as much as possible to extend these last few minutes she has left before being thrown back into the spotlight. chengxuan's almost all packed, save for her camera. she's waiting for yu yan, and it seems her wait is almost done.

yu yan wants to say something--anything. but nothing comes to mind. chengxuan can feel it, but this has to end somewhere. 

after the most important night of their lives, the first thing chengxuan tells her is, "you know, my mum asked for an autographed picture of you."

yu yan starts spluttering immediately. "how does she-- how'd she-- is she psychic? 

chengxuan laughs. "she doesn't know we're soulmates. she's just a fan."

ah. it would be easy, she thinks, to take a photo now and ask chengxuan give it to her. at this point, chengxuan has her polaroid camera ready and more stacks of unused film than she has clean clothes, and more clean clothes than she has photos with yu yan.

(none of them have any clean clothes left.)

her mind races a mile a minute. if the best the birthday gods could do was twelfth place, then she has to at least get her other birthday wish to come true.

"okay, i'll make sure to get it to her one day."

"what?"

"do you think she minds waiting two years? i think i want to give it to her myself." 

"two years," chengxuan considers. "it isn't a long time."

"not at all." yu yan nods slowly. "she can wait that long, yeah?"

"she can," chengxuan reassures. 

"it's just two years. okay," yu yan repeats. "two years. you're sure she'll wait?" 

"i know she will."

"i just have some things to attend to. she understands, right?"

"i don't think there's anyone else who understands you better than her."

"good," yu yan replies. "then i'll go now."

"okay," chengxuan breathes. "go."

**Author's Note:**

> just some chinese phrases used  
> 渲染 xùan rǎn - to colour  
> 诚实 chéng shí - honest  
> 成功 chéng gong - successful  
> 承担 chéng dān - take responsibility for  
> 承受 chéng shòu - to undertake
> 
> keep supporting yy/wcx/qcyn girls! they all deserve the world


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